(HE)ARTBREAK

She gave me the worst scars.

of course i was at fault too.

but i never ripped off his wounds till it ceased to bleed.

She made me feel inferior.

i've never felt so small.

does it help if i bang my head against a wall?

depression and anxiety wasn't under my hands,

yet, i was made fun of.

She made me believe i can never be understood.

She made me believe, 

i can never be loved whole heartedly.

She made me believe i'm a clown

and all that i should do is to make people laugh. while risking my self respect.

i no longer belive in myself.

i no longer have courage to fight.

i know i'll be a failure and would watch her

success with a blob of pain in my eyes.

isn't heartbeats common our your 20's? most of the people i've come across have had a heartbreak atleast once. isn't it intriguing? the chaos, tears, 2a.m thoughts, patience and of course those dreadful conversation. i experienced a heartbreak recently and now i know how it feels to having got betrayed and not able to do anything about it. it almost feels like getting trapped in my own prism of mind. the thoughts of course, it keeps pricking. things could have been better if there wouldn't have been any third person involved as a trigger.